New Fan Works
Old Fan Works
Fobidden Gallery (about me)
And now for something completely different.
Thou art brave for
entering my gallery of forbidden images. Here you will see some candid
shots of certain aspects of my life. I might put a picture of myself up
some day, but don't bug me about it. This part of my site is dedicated
mostly to Buffy the Vampire Slayer! No, it's not the TV show, it's my dog.
Don't ask me why Buffy is her name, my mom gave it to her. And none of
us have even seen the show. But it seems to be a fitting name.
Kasuto's Escapades at the Movie Theater
"Hello, and thank you for calling Kerasotes Theaters Showplace 12. We are
located near the corner of Naperville and Boughton roads, across from Target.
The following is a recorded announcement...." This is what you'll hear
if you call the place where I work. It's a typical recorded message that
you'll hear if you call any movie theater. But the message gives no hint
as to what lies inside that mysterious building. Now, you will find out
what really happens in your local cineplex. I'll take you on a personal
tour of a movie theater, and expose its seamy underbelly. Now learn the
dark secrets of the movies: I work there.
When I first pondered where I should go to get a summer job, the first
thing that popped into my head was: "Movie Theater". I knew that a lot
of good movies were coming out this summer, and if I worked at the movie
theater I could see them for free. It was the first place I applied to,
and I got hired right away. Sure, it's not the highest paying job in the
world. I make $5.40 an hour, but if I work past 7 PM I get a $1.00 per
hour bonus if it's on Monday through Thursday, or a $0.50 bonus if it's
Friday through Sunday. The majority of my hours are past 7 PM, so I usually
end up making $5.90 or $6.40. Now, learn about my experience working on
The first thing I started out doing was working the concession stand. That's
what everybody does. I have to say that the concession stand is the worst
job in the entire building. It's always hot back there because we have
three huge popcorn warming bins and two popcorn poppers. It's almost swealtering
being anywhere within about seven feet from the poppers. Working at the
concession stand is one menial task after another. Our primary duty is
to work the cash registers and take care of customers. Most customers are
perfectly friendly, but some are the kind of people that you just want
to jump over the counter and beat the crap out of. One thing I notice is
that most customers assume that the guy behind the counter is a complete
idiot. I'll admit, a few people who work there aren't that bright, but
we're not idiots. We respect the customers, but it seems like they don't
respect us. That just makes me mad. There are a few things I really hate
when it comes to customers' orders. First there is the indecisive person,
they stand there for five minutes and rub their chin, mumbling, "Hmmmm....what
should I get?" Meanwhile, there's about fifty people in line about to jump
that guy. And then when this person orders, he asks for a box of Nerds.
Then there's the pseudo-decisive person. He walks up to the counter, knowing
exactly what he wants. He asks for a large popcorn with lots of butter,
and a large Dr. Pepper, and some nachos. So I go get the popcorn, and the
drink, and his stupid nachos. Then he says, "Never mind, I think I'll just
have a water cup instead. Is that okay?" Of course, I reply that it's fine,
but in reality I want to take the nachos, popcorn, and pop and shove it
where the sun don't shine. And then all that food gets thrown away. We're
not allowed to eat it. There are also picky people. They want their food
their way. What bugs me the most is when people ask for "fresh popcorn".
They point to the popper and say that they want it from there. People seem
to think that the popcorn that is sitting in the popper is "fresher" than
the popcorn in the warmer. I have news for you. It really makes no difference.
We sell so much popcorn so fast that the popcorn in the warmers doesn't
have time to get stale. In fact, employees aren't allowed to get popcorn
directly from the popper and put it into the bags. We have a special scooper
that we use to move the popcorn from underneath the popper and then we
put it into a bin and transfer it into the warmers. We can't scoop directly
into the bags because it can actually be dangerous. There are two popping
kettles in each popper, and they're both 465 degrees. It's a serious burn
hazard. In fact, I've burned myself on it a couple times. Here's what I
have to do to get "fresh" popcorn. I have to use the special giant scooper
to put the popcorn into the bin. Then I walk to the warmer and dump the
popcorn into the warmer. Then I scoop it into the bag. This just wastes
precious time. Trust me, there's no difference between warmer popcorn,
and popcorn from the popper. So next time you go to the movies, please
don't ask for "fresh" popcorn. It's the biggest pet peeve of concession
Speaking of popcorn, it makes the biggest messes known to man. The floor
behind the concession stand is perpetually covered in popcorn. You can't
walk without hearing a crunch. Popcorn is everwhere. It's in the drains
on the floor, it's in the cabinets, it's on the counters, it's obviously
on the floor, and it's even wedged between the baseboards on the floor
and the wall. That stuff is impossible to get out. If you've ever seen
a popcorn warmer, it's essentially a glass box with heating elements in
it. There's popcorn stuck between the glass and the back wall. It is literally
everywhere. And it's a bitch to clean up. Now matter how much you clean,
there's always popcorn. There's only one place in the entire movie theater
that doesn't have a speck of popcorn in it. It's the projector room. I
have to say that the projector room is the coolest place in the whole movie.
It's on the second floor (duh). There are twelve screens at my theater.
The projectors are awesome. Each projector has a very large round platter
next to it. The platters have the film on it, and they're about three feet
in diameter. The rolls of film are a lot bigger than I thought they were.
If a movie is an hour and a half long, it has about 130,000 frames. That's
a lot of film. Next to the projectors are the digital sound decoders. There
are knobs to adjust the volume in the theater, and you can even turn it
up to listen to it upstairs. The sound decoders look really cool, they
have lots of buttons and blinking lights.
The absolute worst thing about the concession stand is cleaning. I usually
work as a closer, which means I stay and help clean up the concession stand
after all the movies are over. I usually don't go home until 1:00 or 2:00
AM. Closing isn't that bad a job, but there's one particular task I loathe:
cleaning the popper. Cleaning a popcorn popper is probably the worst task
you can get. It is tedioius and uses way too much elbow grease. My hands
are sore because of constant scrubbing. I'd rather clean the entire building
than scrub a popper.
Another part of my job is working as an usher. Ushers are the guys who
clean up the auditorium after each show. One thing that I hate is that
there are usually only four ushers and sometimes three movies let out within
a couple minutes of each other, and we end up having to scramble to get
them all done. What bugs me is when people sit through the credits and
watch the whole thing. We can't turn the lights on and start cleaning until
everyone is gone. Then when we finally start, it's usually uneventful.
The job when cleaning a theater is not to get it spotless, but just to
sweep up what you can see. One thing I've noticed is that people are slobs.
In most shows, over half the people leave their half-empty cups and popcorn
bags in the seats. We have garbage cans. Is it so hard for people to clean
up after themselves? What sucks the most is when somebody spills a tray
of nachos on the carpet and gets cheese everywhere. That's really messy.
But cleaning a theater does have its better parts. You wouldn't believe
the stuff I've found. I found an empty Budweiser can, pop cans, candy we
don't sell (people aren't supposed to bring in outside food), pairs of
glasses, girl's sweaters, beanie babies (I gave it to my dog), house keys,
hats, and money. That's the best part, a lot of people leave money under
the seats. Sometimes it just falls out of their pockets. Usually it's just
dimes and nickels, but one time I found $11. We always keep the money we
find. Surprisingly, no one has ever come in looking for lost money. If
you want a tip, make sure you didn't lose your money before you leave a
theater. Because once they start cleaning, you won't get it back.
The most unusual part of my job is actually the people I work with. I have
never met a group of people so totally insane. I always thought I was the
weirdest person I knew, but the people there get the credit now. Most of
the people I work with are younger than me, so I can't blame them for their
immaturity. Many of them do nothing but goof off. This one kid does more
stupid and dangerous things than anyone, and he's never gotten a write-up.
I'd fire him if I was a manager. He does stupid things like putting half
a cup of salt and three times the normal amount of oil when making a kettle
of popcorn. He says "trust me, this is good popcorn". The popcorn then
pops up floating in grease, and it's so salty that your mouth puckers up
when you eat it. Some other guys like to goof around later at night. When
we close up the concession stand, any food like pretzels and popcorn are
thrown out. Everything has to be counted and kept track of. After they
count the stale pretzels, the crew leaders (one step higher than me, but
one step lower than a manager) are supposed to throw them out. But sometimes
they have fun with them. There is this special gum remover that freezes
anything you spray it on. They take the old pretzels, which are hard enough
to begin with, and freeze them solid. Then they throw the pretzels against
the back wall, shattering them into a hundred pieces. I have to admit,
that's pretty cool. Even though the people there are a bit weird, they're
good people to work with. I've never met a nicer more closely-knit bunch
Of course, the best part about working there is seeing free movies. I can
go in anytime I'm not working and get a ticket for free. The only exception
is a movie made by Sony or Columbia/Tri-Star Pictures. Nobody can get free
tickets until two weeks after the movie is released. That's not the theater's
policy, it's Sony's policy. That's one more reason why I hate Sony. On
the first day that Final Fantasy came out, I went to see it. I brought
$10 to buy popcorn. Unfortunately, the manager informed me that it was
a Sony movie and I had to pay for the ticket. So I had to pay $9 to get
me and my brother in. We didn't get any popcorn. The thing that reall sucked
was they stopped showing Final Fantasy after two weeks, so I couldn't see
it again for free. Final Fantasy was really good, by the way. The one thing
that sucks about the free movies is that we get tickets for free, but we
still have to pay for popcorn. The concession prices are highway robbery.
A large drink is $3.75 and a large popcorn is $5.50. The only redeeming
quality is that you get free refills on all size popcorn and drinks. So
I usually get a small drink ($2.75). I usually sneak in a box of Junior
Mints becase we don't sell them. I have to be careful because I could get
in trouble if I get caught sneaking in food. I don't buy popcorn anymore
because I have learned to hate it. Being around popcorn all day has made
me never want to see another kernel again as long as I live. Not to mention
when I go home I actually smell like popcorn. My dad pointed that out to
me one day. I was driving in the car and he said, "Son, you smell like
popcorn." I hate popcorn so much.
Have you ever wondered how the soft drink fountains work? There are two
lines that run into the machine. One is carbonated water and the other
is the syrup. The two mix when they come out of the fountain. In the back
room are racks of pop syrups all with little hoses attached to them. There
are about thirty syrup boxes, each weighing about twenty pounds. And believe
me, those things get messy. I think that pop syrup is the stickest substance
known to man. It really sucks when someone drops a syrup box and spills
it all over the floor. Cleaning up a syrup spill is really hard. Changing
the syrup boxes sucks too. All the hozes and nozzles are perpetually covered
in sticky syrup, and your hands end up getting covered in the stuff. It's
just nasty. But the carbonation machines are cool. Water hoses run into
any of three steel spheres that have compressed carbon dioxide in them.
They have little relief valves that let out a jet of gas if you push the
little lever. Gas is cool.
In conclusion, working there is okay, but it's not a dream job. I'll just
never eat popcorn again. Just the smell makes me nautious.
My Computer Desk
Before I get to the pics of my dog, I want to
show you this first. Did you ever wonder where Kasuto works? Do you want
to be like me and model your computer desk after mine? Well, take a look
at a picture I took of my computer desk. This is where the "magic"
As you can see, it's not a pretty sight.
If you think this is messy, it might disturb you to know that I just got
done cleaning up before taking this picture. You should see it when it's
really messy. There's only one empty
pop can there, but after a few days it usually piles up to about a dozen.
I throw them away when I can't see the monitor anymore. You can see my
computer and monitor on the left, and the printer and scanner on the right
(the scanner is somewhere under all those papers). This is the workstation
that pumps out Kasuto.net. So if you ever wonder where the site comes
from, now you know.
A Semi-Biography of Me
Here's a little information
about myself. I'll tell you some things about me, but not everything.
I might put up a picture of myself some day, but not now.
Where I Live:
Southwestern suburbs of Chicago, Illinois, USA. By the way, the "s" in
Illinois is silent.
My favorite baseball
team: Chicago Cubs. Yeah! The Cubbies rock! I don't really follow any
Players: Sammy Sosa, Rod Beck
Favorite TV Shows
[with favorite characters]: Star Trek TNG [Riker], Star Trek
Voyager [Janeway], Sliders [Rembrandt], The Lone Gunmen [Frohicke],
X-files [Cigarette Smoking Man] (only episodes with the Cigarette Smoking
Man), Seven Days [Parker], Rocko's Modern Life [Filbert],
The Tomorrow People [Adam], The Simpsons [Hans Moleman],
Seinfeld [Kramer], The Man Show [The hosts, Adam and Jimmy],
Time Trax [Selma], Gundam Wing [Dorothy Catalonia].
unrelated to the TV show with the same name),
The Abyss Special Edition,
The X-files, Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz, Star Trek: First Contact, Back
to the Future Trilogy, All the Star Wars movies,
Dumb and Dumber,
Any Monty Python movie, The Net, Timecop,
on the computer for hours on end (duh), cooking and baking (I can make
really good fried rice).
Crichton], The Stand [Stephen King], Red Mars, Green Mars, and
Mars [A trilogy of books by Kim Stanley Robinson].
Genre and Music Groups: Japanese pop Music (J-Pop), Anime Music, Two-Mix,
Hamasaki, Misty Eyes, T.M. Revolution.
and Darkness [Gundam Wing image song sung by the voice actor of Lady
Une, Sa Yuri], Joy to My Life [Gundam Wing image song sung by the
voice actor of Dorothy Catalonia, Naoko Matsui], You
Impression [A Theme song for Gundam Wing, performed by Two-Mix],
Education [Misty Eyes], Heart of the Sword [Theme song to Ruroni
Kenshin, performed by TM Revolution],
I Am a Pioneer
and English versions) [Theme song to Tenchi Muyo!],
Favorite Foods: Pepperoni
pizza, sushi (yes, raw fish), miso soup, fried rice, Bourbon Street Steak
(from Applebee's), caviar (fish eggs), alligator, salmon, Long John Silver's
fish (the only non-salmon fish I like), crab legs (technically not a fish,
it's a crustacean), dark chocolate, potato pancakes from this Polish buffet
about twenty miles from my house.
Foods I Hate: Salisbury steak; any
kind of Hamburger Helper; most food in the cafeteria at school; peas; anything
"lite", low in fat, or low in calories.
Favorite Drinks: Coca-Cola (not
I hate Pepsi!), Earl Grey tea (plain, with nothing in it), jasmine
tea (again, with nothing in it), Jolt cola, Red Bull, Surge,
Drinks I Hate: Pepsi (I don't like
it, but I'll drink it if I have to), pre-made chocolate milk (the kind
they have in the little cartons at school), anything "diet", coffee (I
hate coffee! It's repulsive!), anything with coffee or coffee flavoring
as an ingredient, iced tea with sugar in it (I like my tea plain), sugar-free
Kool-Aid (there's no point to Kool-Aid without the sugar).
My computer's specs:
Gateway mid-tower computer (originally), 1.5 GBRAM, 20 GB & 80GB hard disks, Creative SB Live
sound card with Boston Acoustic speakers and 150 watt subwoofer, ATI Radeon 64MB DDR ViVo video card, 32x/8x
CD-ROM/DVD-ROM, 8x/4x CD-RW, HP Sanjet 4400c scanner, Espon Stylus Photo 780 printer, 17" Vivitron
monitor, optical mouse with scrolling wheel (I love the wheel).
Software I use on my computer:
MS Windows 98 SE, Microsoft Windows 2000 Advanced Server, Microsoft Office XP, Corel Draw 10 (including Photopaint),
Adobe Photoshp 7, Macromedia Flash Animator 5, Quick Time Pro, Real Producer,
Cool Edit Pro (expensive sound authoring software), Netscape Composer (I
use it to create my website, but I hate the browser), Cool Speech (an awesome
voice synthesizer), Ulead GIF animator.
My favorite video games: Zelda
(of course, my favorite is Zelda II), Super Mario Bros. 1-3 (Mario
attained perfection at 3), Doom (computer version), Doom II
(computer version), Quake (computer version), Quake II (computer
Games and systems I hate: Any Pokémon
game, Playstation 1 and 2, Dreamcast (a waste of money), X-box (I'm sure
I'll hate it even more when it comes out). Basically I hate anything non-Nintendo.
What can I say? Nintendo was there first, and they're still the best (okay,
they weren't the first, but they were there in the beginning).
My favorite word: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
(longest word in the English language, it means "a lung disease in miners
caused by inhalation of quartz or silica dust")
People I dislike or just plain hate:
Anyone who burns the American flag (it's not exercising free speech, it's
spitting on the memories of all the people who have died defending our
freedom), racists, Communists, people who think the South won the civil
war (let's face it people, the Confederacy lost, get with it; don't think
that I hate Southerners, half my family is from Alabama), Al Gore (there's
something about him I don't like), whoever was in charge of Commonwealth
Edison when they laid off my dad (he worked there for 22 years as a nuclear
engineer, and they fired him for no reason!), AOL-ers (brain-dead morons
who think AOL is the Internet), people who think they know everything
even though they obviously don't.
My pet peeves: When people say "nuculear"
instead of "nuclear" (there's only one u people), when people pronounce
Illinois like "Ill-ih-noiz", when people pronounce Antarctica like "Antartica"
(it has two c sounds), when people say "warsh" or "worsh" instead
of "wash" (my mom does this and it bugs the hell out of me), when people
whistle in public, when people drive 20 MPH below the speed limit, when
people leave their blinkers on for ten miles, when people use a blinker
and turn in the opposite direction, when people blast rap music so loud
that it can be heard from space, when people say "you know what I'm sayin'?"
after every sentence, when people use "like" after every other word, feminine
My plans for the future: I am attending Loyola University Chicago, currently a
sophomore, and I'm majoring in Computer Science (I switched from Biochemistry). So far in college, I
took two semesters of Arabic, one semester of French, and I'm currently studying Hindi-Urdu,
which I plan on taking for all four semesters.